Ari's Antics

In my family, not so long ago-a generation or two ago, children were aggressively shielded from discussions of illness. Children were kept at a distance from relatives who were ill, often literally sequestered. Other times, they were inoculated with heavy doses of silence on the topic. Illness and disease were analogous to "the birds and the bees." The kids will figure it out later...no need to tell them anything. Whether born of custom, or culture, this approach is not the one we have taken with Ari and Gabriela. Daniela and I have both discussed, in age-appropriate terms, the details of both processes and procedures that Daniela will face. We made a conscious choice to enlist our children's aid in the process of healing.

In conversation, one day, both Ari and Gabriela volunteered to make tea and pumpkin bread (from a box of Trader Joe's mix) when Daniela came back from the Hospital, their faces resonating with pride as they realized their new role as helpers. They are both aware and proud of themselves as part of the community contributing to ease the unpleasantness of days to come. In contrast to these conscious efforts, there are other moments, literal eruptions of childish exuberance that create unexpected junctures of rejuvenation. For instance, this past Saturday evening, we shared a festive meal at the home of wonderful neighbors. After the Latkes, the kids decided to engage in a bit of theatre, and put on a performance. During the show, Ari came running onto the "stage." He lifted up his shirt to reveal a hand-drawn face across his abdomen. (His level of detail included a unibrow above his belly button.) He then proceeded to pinch the sides of this belly face and move them back and forth. His staccato monologue, which lasted for minutes, or so it seemed, began.... Hi! I-am-Bob. I-live-in-a-log. We all laughed. Daniela laughed a deep therapeutic laughter, as we all did. And I smiled. For a moment, even though he did not known it, Ari and his seraphic silly-ness, managed to doctor our sense of anxiety about the days ahead. Ari is in great spirits these days, and so is Gabriela. Their resilience is remarkable. Their presence is indispensable.

One of our wonderful hosts, quick on his feet, had the presence of mind amidst the mirth and merriment to reach for his camera. He was able to capture the last few seconds of Ari's comedic eruption. Enjoy: